Now We're Rolling!

The girlies had an appointment with the eye doctor on Monday. Holland is nearsighted and is going to need glasses. For those of you who know about such things, she is close to a -2.0 in her right eye, and a -3.0 in her left eye. Her eyes are also both turning in again, but very slightly, and not enough to require further treatment at this point. The eye doctor said that there is no "right" time to put Holly in glasses, and she doesn't feel that they are developmentally necessary right now. Holland is mostly interested in playing with her toys and looking at things close up. As she gets a little older she will start wanting to see things further away, and will be more apt to want to wear the glasses. So, we have another apointment scheduled in July, and Holland will most likely get her glasses then. All of this news is pretty much what we had expected to hear. The good news is that her retinas look good, and she is using both eyes equally, not favoring one over the other. And she can SEE. The bad news is that her eyes will likely continue to worsen over the years and she will always require glasses or contacts...until she is old enough to decide if she wants to have laser surgery AGAIN to correct her vision.

Eden's vision is better. She is not nearsighted at this time, but will be sometime in the future and will also need glasses. She probably will not need them as soon as the 6-month appointment, but maybe within the next few years. It would be nice if she could grow into her BTE (Behind the Ear) processor before we have to try to keep glasses on her, but whatever. We just do what we have to do.

Eden's good news is that she has started ROLLING! She has been able to roll from front to back, and from back to front for a while, but it wasn't until last Monday that she figured out she could roll all the way across the room to get what she wanted. Once she figured that out there was no stopping her. She rolled ALL DAY, cracking up at herself the whole time. She ended up crashing and taking a four hour nap later in the day, only to wake up and start rolling again. We are ELATED at this new development. It is so encouraging that she is mobile and able to move enough to get something that she wants. We have also been told that serial rolling is a good sign that she might eventually learn to crawl.

We were at my mom's house when Eden started rolling, and needless to say, Nana and I were both sitting on the floor bawling like babies watching her. She must think we are totally nuts.

I am not ready to concede that there is anything good about Eden's disability, but I will say this... We are certainly learning to appreciate the small things so much more than we would have otherwise.

I want to let everyone know how much I have appreciated your comments on my last post about Eden. Just writing it and venting some of my feeling and frustration has helped a lot. I understand and accept that my feelings are normal and maybe even necessary. I am going through a pretty intense grieving process in learning to accept Eden as she is, and letting go of that perfect image that I had when planning to have a child.

I talked about my goal of getting to a better place where I can be the parent that I want to be for my children, especially for Eden. I have been thinking about this a lot and I have narrowed it down to some specific qualities that I want to possess as a parent of a child with a disability. First, and foremost, I want to be strong and optimistic. I want to instill in Eden a sense of independence and determination. I do not want to feel sorry for Eden, and I do not want her to feel sorry for herself. In order to do this, I can not cry all the time, especially not when I am around my kids. I will do my best to treat Eden as a whole person, as a unique and important individual. I will not allow her to be defined by her disabilities. She may be deaf, and she may be physically disabled, but those are such a small part of who she is. She is SO much more!!!