These pictures were taken on Saturday, just before things got ugly. We went to a Halloween party put on by our local PBS station. It was crowded, and loud, but the girls had a great time riding ponies and meeting CLIFFORD! They were truly in their glory, especially Holland who ran up to Clifford with a great big hug, and didn't want to let go. I swear she is a character junkie.After we left the party, we went to lunch and did a little shopping. The girls ate an awesome lunch, and were so cute and sweet. It wasn't until about 6pm that everything went south. Eden started acting really strange in the car. She was grunting and breathing really funny. We almost pulled over because her breathing was so weird. After we got home, she got distracted and quit doing it, but it happened twice more before bed. It was stressful and scary and I have no idea what it was. We racked our brains trying to figure it out and almost thought we would have to call 911. She didn't eat a great dinner, and wouldn't finish her bedtime bottle, but went to bed fine because she was exhausted. She woke up at 3:30am doing the same thing, and that is when it crossed my mind that it could be seizures(???). She also had the beginning of a fever, 99.5 under her arm. She quickly fell back asleep and slept with me the rest of the night. The next day she had a higher fever, 102.5 under her arm, but no more of the weird breathing episodes. By the next morning, the fever was gone and she was fine. I figure it was the same 24 hour bug that Holland had last Thursday.
So then we thought it was over...
...until Tuesday night when Holland woke up at 2:30am throwing up in her bed. I cleaned her up, changed her bed and put her back down. Approximately three minutes later she puked again, this time all over her pillow and in her hair, so I had to get her up and give her a bath. We brought her back to bed with us where she promptly threw up again. Gah. So, we pretty much didn't sleep that night.
Last night it was Eden's turn. Pretty much the exact same scenario within the same time frame.
It's sad and frustrating how life can be flowing along pretty smoothly, then one little sickness can put me back in that scary, sick place that I thought I was past. You know, that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach...that worried, stressed, and very very afraid feeling. I wonder if that feeling will ever truly go away.
At least in terms of this recent illness, I hope tonight will be a turning point.
22 comments:
Hope everyone is feeling better tonight and you get some sleep!
Melanie
Yucky. I wonder if it was that bad stomach bug that everyone's getting. Shiga... shega... shiggy... shenanigans.
(Shigellosis.)
Billie-
I hope everyone is feeling better now. I know it is still so scarey for moms of preemies and that constant wonder in the back of your mind. I hope you are able to get some good sleep now and the ickies are gone.
Your girls are beautiful!
Shari
Oh, Billie, I sure hope she wasn't having seizures!
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. You don't want one!
Keep us posted...
Argh...man that sucks! I really hope she isn't having seizures but epilepsy is a common CP trait...
Keep us posted Billie!
i am sorry ya'll have been sick...it really is so scary. i have to tell you, that the pic of the 4 of you with clifford...what a beautiful family! it just makes me smile to see all of you. what a blessing!
Om my goodness! I am so sorry that you guys are battling another bug!
As for the scary feeling, no, I don't think it will ever go away. Most micropreemie parents live on the edge, we are all suffering from varying forms of PTSD. Each time Cooper gets sick, I start panicking.
Hope everyone is feeling better soon!
PS: the girls look adorable in their costumes!!!
HUGS. I just wish that our kids had a bit more resistance and a bit more reserve.
It sounds like Eden's episodes didn't repeat themselves the second time around. Does that make it more likely that what you were seeing wasn't seizures? I certainly am hoping with all my might that this is so...
Wishing your family some health!!! Hoping no more weirdness for Eden. We won't even say the S word.
Lisa
I'm saying prayers for you sweet girls. btw...the costumes are too cute.
That sucks to say the least. So many highs and lows in just a couple days. I hope the girls feel better soon.
Amy
I'm sorry the girls were sick. I hate the stomach bug (not that anyone really likes it). I'd gladly take a full 7-day bout with the flu over a 24 hr stomach bug.
The girls look so cute in the costumes. It looks like you all had a great time.
-Carrie
ogh- I know how it feels to have sick kids.. it is not ag ood feeling. I hope that they get better soon-- ans stay that way for a while!
Aww Billie. We have been through the same thing this week. I was driving the boys to swimming lessons when I looked in the mirror to see Moo's eyes rolling backwards. Two seconds later he was projectile vomiting everywhere (still in the car). I too thought seizure but Master C started chucking half an hour later (fortunately no longer in the car).
Hope the kids are feeling better. Mine seem to have returned to normal.
L,
Jacqui
Is it at all possible that something funky was going on digestively, that her bowels felt weird and hence the strained breathing? (maybe that's a totally stupid idea but here's to hoping it's not something more significant).
As for the girls, so CUTE in their dinosaur costumes! I love seeing little girls as something other than princesses.
When you said things had gone south I pictured major meltdowns and scenes... so in a way, part of me thought it was awesome that it was a virus that stopped them, and not attitude. Not that the virus itself is awesome. It's NOT. So maybe that's a silly thing to notice, but work with me here.
And, what else is not awesome is TERRIFIED PREEMIE MAMA, and she comes out a lot for me, too. It's really sucked this week, as we live near the CA wildfires. My fears over her lungs, having so nicely been allowed to drift down to almost nothing flare up something nasty and immediate and panicky. It really, really sucks. I feel like I'm cortisoling my life away
Hope everyone feels better soon.
Dang it Billie! I hope you're sleeping well right now. And the girls too.
It might have been seizures, especially if she had a fever. But it sounds more like she was sick to her stomach - I know when I feel like I have to throw up, I get all "pregnancy breathing" for a while.
I find that's a big part of being a parent, that fear-in-your-throat thing. No, the scary feeling never goes away permanently, but it does seem to hide out for longer stretches as time goes on. Here's hoping you have a nice long break for a while!
We are battling gastro here too, I was blaming it on reflux but now as it is coming out the other end I now know it's not gastro. I think you made a good decision keeping your girls home this year, you deal with enough illnesses without all the other ones lurking around at schools. Hopefully they are all on the mend and eating better now. Our last episode of gastro lasted almost 2 weeks and sent her back in the hospital.
Their costumes are the greatest Eden looked so cute in her pony all dressed up.
Hi, you don't know me but I recently came across your blog and I've read some (or most) of your posts. I just wanted to let you know that your girls are beautiful and are such an inspiration. Although you may not feel like it sometimes, you seem like such a strong person to have made it through all of this...and you seem like a fantastic mother =) About the seizure thing: I'm praying that Eden hasn't been having seizures (and doesn't have them in the future). If she has another one of those weird episodes, try to see if she is responsive to you or anybody...does she turn her head or move her eyes when you call her name? Also, check to see if she is having any involuntary movements. I hope that everybody is happy and gets healthy soon!
Oh goodness. I hope it is only a 24 hour thing and everyone is well by now and you got to get some rest somehow! I know that feeling very well. I think it's a mark of things getting better when you get it and it surprises you and it's like this thing coming back -which means it left for a bit. They will get bigger and they will get more reserves and be less vulnerable. It will happen - it just feels like it never will on a night you don't get any sleep and are cleaning up vomit.
Billie,
Sorry to hear about the yuck in your house. Hope it's all over.
Your girls look awesome in their costumes, we're going to be jack-o-lanterns for our first non-NICU halloween. I'm excited (they don't have a clue).
Seizures, how scary. Hilary is right IF it happens again try to notice as amny details as you can in the short scary time. I know when Lena had seizures in the hospital key things were: responsiveness, length of time, involuntary movement, what do her eyes do?, arms? legs? etc. Seizures can be so small and most of Lena's were as subtule as a fixed nonresponsive gaze for 15-30 seconds, then it was done. If she hadn't been on a heart monitor to see her rate increase we would ahve missed most of them I'm sure. Also ask eden if she gets scared before or during these events.
As for the constant fear. I don't think it will ever go away. Wayne and I were discussing this very topic on the weekend and we're sure that for the rest of our lives these girls will scare us to death any time anything out of the ordinary happens. It's like Wayne said "I am going to be a complete basket case when they get thier first bad cold", something that sould just be "normal". And so it goes for parents of micropreemies. I just remind myself we are lucky to have them, smile and pray everything will be okay.
I realize you wrote this awhile ago and that you may not be checking the comments attached to this post anymore, but I just wanted to write you anyway...
I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say you felt back in that sick, scary place again where you get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. I completely understand.
Anne
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