Twenty Ten

Things I should be doing right now, instead of blogging:
- Folding and hanging up clean clothes - the girls' and my own.
- Unloading and reloading the dishwasher.
- Sorting through the huge box of assorted mail and papers that need to be filed.
- Packing up clothes that are too small, so they can be passed on to my nieces.

The thing about it is...those things never last. I have to do them over and over and over again. When I haven't posted to the blog in a while, I start to get that nagging voice in my head..."write a post, write a post", and I start to feel bad about slacking. I feel the same way with all of those other tedious things around the house that I need to get done. But, at least when I finish a blog post...it's done. And it lasts.

This blog has served me well, and it's purpose has changed dramatically over the years. In the beginning, it was just meant to be a way to keep our friends and family informed about what was happening with the girls in the NICU. After they came home, it became a way for me to stay connected to the outside world. It was a way to connect with other preemie parents, as well as to give and share information about what we were going through. Eventually, during the roughest times, when we were learning about the girls disabilities and the lasting impact that their prematurity would have, it became a therapy tool. A way for me to unload all of the pain and grief and sadness that I was experiencing.

The blog has been useful in all those ways. It has been helpful for me, and also for other people. But I don't personally need it for those reasons anymore. I have developed a strong, lasting support network of family, friends, other NICU parents, and other parents of children with disabilities, both in "real life" and online, that I interact with on a regular basis outside of the blog. But, more importantly, I don't need it because I am in a really happy, peaceful place in my life...a place that I never really thought I would ever be. Twenty Oh Nine was a great year for us, and I feel like Twenty Ten is going to be even better!

But, don't worry. I am not going to stop blogging. I am not going to stop, because every so often I start reading through the archives. In fact, over the past few months I have been reading through the entire thing as I am changing the old pics to a new system. I have finished up through 2005, and have only 2006 left to do. So, as I work on that, I read each post again, and look at each picture and I am so, so glad that I have this wonderful chronicle of my girls' lives. It's like the ultimate baby book. I love reading the funny stories about things they have said and done and remembering what they were like as yummy little babies and toddlers. So, I can't stop. I know I would be so sorry if I did!

I would be sorry, because I want to remember what Holland and Eden are like as five-year-olds. Five is like...the best age ever! They are so funny and cute, and becoming so much more independent. I can hang out with them, and we have really great, interesting conversations. They have opinions and ideas, and, believe it or not, are even getting better at cleaning up their own messes.

I have lots to say about my almost five and HALF year olds. And now that I have convinced myself that I MUST keep blogging, I will work on another post now...

Until then...check out our new haircuts!

Holland Before:


Eden Before:


Holland After:


Eden After:


Me Before:


Me After:

It took me over a year, but I finally worked up the courage!